“Puns are the lowest form of wit.” – John Dennis

That being said, here are a bunch of terrible pun related jokes. They are truly awful. You might get ill just from reading it. Reader beware. You’ve been warned. They are arranged in a sort of Jeopardy style. Jeopardy purists will surely point out this is not exactly how the jeopardy thing works but Carnac the Magnificent is too old a reference, even for me. So here we go.

• Puppeteers.

What do you get when a puppet cries?

… Puppet … tears … Boom!

• TNT

What’s that thing when you put a little tiny cup of tea inside of a much bigger cup of tea?

… Tea … in … tea … Boom!

• Turtle

What do you call it when you have to pay a fee to take a shit?

… Turd … toll … Boom!

• Rocky Balboa

What happens when a snake eats a bunch of stones and gets indigestion?

… Rocky … bowel … boa … Boom!

• Frodo

What’s a female deer with a bad perm?

… Fro … doe … Boom!

• Musketeers

How do you know your gun is listening?

Musket … ears … Boom!

• Exhausted

Who’s the super villain, a once mild mannered fella named Theodore, that gained powers and went insane when he fell into a radioactive vat of hollandaise sauce?

… Egg … Sauce … Ted … Boom!

• Pop-tart

What’s that thing where you take a bowl of corn seeds and dump a bunch paint in it and turn on the microwave until the inside looks like a Jackson Pollack painting?

… popped … art … Boom!

• Elbow

What do you use to play a cello in spanish?

… El … bow … Boom!

• Diarrhea

What is that place that if you go to it you won’t survive?

… Die … area … Boom!

Ok, shows over, now get on with your lives. If you have any of your own be sure to share in the comments section.

by Zack Goncz

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